Dubliner Jennifer Muldowney is making waves stateside for her expert event planning skills – but not for weddings or birthday bashes! Her line of work is more sombre in nature, she’s a funeral celebrant and memorial planner. Jennifer is slowly changing the perception of funerals and memorials from stuffy, rigid affairs to events that accurately remember the life of the person who’s passed on, while still allowing loved ones to grieve.
“My interest in funerals started when two friends of mine passed away, they were both siblings of my best friends,” Jennifer explains. “I was an event and wedding planner at the time and had just moved back home during the recession after living in Washington DC for two years. At the same time, we had to put our dog down.”
All of this loss led to Jennifer confronting her own mortality. “I was dealing with my grief and trying to cope with that. It got me thinking about what I would want for my own funeral,” she continues.
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“I found there wasn’t much information online for Irish funerals. That is how my first book, Say Farewell, Your Way came about. Usually, when someone dies, you go to the local church and funeral home, regardless of whether the person was religious or what their beliefs were.”
Jennifer noticed that there wasn’t much choice when it came to funerals. “With weddings, you are looking at venues and going through food options. Funerals are a similar event logistically, but there’s very few choices. I thought people needed more help in these moments.”
So, she started Farewell Funeral Planners in Ireland in 2010, which later evolved into Muldowney Memorials based in New York city.
“I picked up the name the Glam Reaper along the way,” Jennifer laughs. “I’ve been in New York nine years now, it’s gone from strength to strength. You have to keep going. It’s never an overnight success, it’s a lot of hard work, pivoting and graft.
“The pivotal point for me was signing Frank E. Campbell funeral home as a client. They do all the funerals for all the celebrities, their name holds a lot of weight in the business.”
Every day is different, according to Jennifer. “I usually work seven days a week. I try to take Sunday off, but you have to go with the flow. Some weeks can be busier than others, depending on the client’s level of need,” she explains.
Her day largely revolves around admin and logistical work. Usually Muldowney Memorials gets a phone call and Jennifer meets with the client. “We are normally brought in by a funeral home or by a family who’ve already had their loved one cremated or buried. Usually a funeral home calls us when the family wants something ‘off site’, like an event not in a funeral home or religious setting.”
Jennifer and her team work with families and friends to find out what they want from the memorial service. “When you have lost a family member, you are at your lowest point, you are broken. Trying to put together the dream funeral that represents everything the deceased person stood for in life is a huge undertaking with many logistics.
“We take care of all that – audio visual, live streams, slideshows, video editing, live music, food and more.”
Jennifer reveals she has been to some very unique memorials in her time. “I’ve planned funerals in large homes, off yachts in the south of France where ashes were scattered across the sea, there’s been canoe caskets. Every element is personalised.”
She adds it is all about holding the client’s hand throughout. “We are responsive 24/7. It’s an emotional job as well as a logistical one. We love hearing stories about the person who has passed on. I become an integral part of their family and friends until it is time for me to go, but I do stay in touch with a lot of people.”
Jennifer believes a funeral should be for both the deceased and the living. “A funeral, if done well, should be a beautiful personalised tribute to the deceased and a healing and cathartic experience for the living,” she says. “The living are left behind and that’s who needs to move forward. If it hits both those notes, it’s a successful funeral.”
It’s important to get that fine line between the celebration of life and the mourning of death right, she adds. “If you turn it into just a party, you are not allowing the people who need to mourn the space to do that. It needs to be inclusive.”
“One of my favourite memorials was where we had the space and budget to create two entirely different spaces for the person who passed away,” Jennifer recalls. “He was a larger than life character – young, gay, into Broadway, very outgoing. He loved colour and happiness.
“His family came to me and were adamant they wanted to celebrate his life. I suggested making one floor colourful and happy, with the other floor quiet and serene. All the florals and décor for that room was white.
“People entered the fun room first, then after a while we sounded a bell for people to go upstairs for the service. We placed petals and candles on the stairs.
“The service was held here with the most amazing speakers. Afterwards, we announced that people could go back downstairs whenever they were ready. Many people stayed in the quiet space for a while, it was important for them to grieve there.”
Jennifer admits it is an odd job to have, especially as a lot of people working in the industry are brought up in the funeral business, but she chose it.
“It’s not the happiest of jobs, it’s very emotional,” she continues. “I often get quite upset, especially when it involves young people and suicide, it can be heartbreaking.
“I also find the services involving an older couple, when one partner is still alive, really tough. Here is this person who has lost their partner of 60 or 70 years. They lived with them for so long and now they are expected to live without them.”
She is proud of every single memorial she and her team organise. “We can bring family and friends together to partake in grieving, but also celebrate the life of the one who’s passed on.”
Read the full interview in this month’s issue of RSVP Magazine, on shelves nationwide now.
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