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I’m not changing my name after I get married - here’s why

I've decided to keep my own name after getting married- if a man doesn’t traditionally change his name, why should I? Is it rooted in traditional stereotypes that a wife should do what her husband says?

Áine Kenny is not going to change her name after she gets married

I’ve been engaged for five months now, but I decided long before I ever met my fiancé that I am definitely not changing my name after I get married. To be honest, I am surprised that this practice is still quite common in 2023.

When it comes to straight couples, we don’t see many husbands changing their last names to their wives’ names. Why is this? In my opinion, a woman changing her last name is a practice steeped in tradition, one that is actually quite sexist and dates back to the days of women being seen as property.

Think about it - most women have their father’s last name, the father walks the bride down the aisle, ‘giving her away’ to her new ‘owner’, i.e. her husband. The bride then takes her husband’s last name.

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Of course, we have (for the most part) moved on from the idea that women are the property of men, but yet this patriarchal tradition still exists.

There are of course some women who want to change their last name for entirely valid reasons. They may have a difficult relationship with their own family, or maybe they just like the sound of their husband’s last name. Perhaps they like the traditional element of it all, and want to start the next phase of their life with a shared name.

However, I know for me, keeping my own last name is the right choice. Áine Kenny is who I am and always will be. If a man doesn’t traditionally change his name, why should I? I also write for a living and my previous work is under "Áine Kenny". It's my professional name too.

My fiancé and I think we will just keep our own names and leave it at that. Getting married already signifies our bond - both spiritually and legally. I won’t have the hassle of paperwork either. The thought of applying for a new passport, driver’s licence and changing all my bills is enough to put me off!