Puberty is a time that can be enormously stressful for some children. Even the most chilled-out kids can find those pre-teen years a frightening time. However, by keeping our kids well-informed in advance of the changes during adolescence – both at home and at school – it will help prepare them for the sometimes tricky road ahead.

Last year in our house, we were introduced to “Busy Bodies” for the first time. This is a resource designed for young people, which provides information on the physical and emotional changes that children may experience during puberty.

This course is provided for 5th and 6th class students in many primary schools across the country and the idea is to read the book with your child at home each week before specific chapters are then discussed in class.

I really like this approach because it keeps us, the parents informed about where they are in the curriculum, and gives the children a little comfort too, being able to speak openly at home about topics such as growing pains, puberty and sexual reproduction.

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What I found most interesting about my own child’s experience with the Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) programme was how matter-of-fact he was about the whole topic. There was no sniggering or eye-rolling, just a genuine curiosity about the human body, why changes happen and the physical act of intercourse.

When I think back to our very limited one-hour lecture on reproduction in second year of secondary school 30 years ago, it was all a bit of a fiasco, really. A classroom full of smirking 14-year-olds well on the path to puberty by that point, being taught the very basics of sexual education by members of the Catholic Marriage Advisory Council. By then, the majority of us had already learned the basics (and most likely a lot of misinformation also) in the school yard, so this was too little, too late.

The difference between my experience and that of children today, is that these topics are now explained in a factual but sensitive manner to children when they are aged just 11. Some might think that this age is a little too young to understand such adult concepts, but with many children going through puberty a lot younger these days it’s vital that we, as caregivers, alleviate the stress and worry that would almost certainly affect our children if they had to deal with periods and growth changes alone and uninformed.

And let’s face it, we’ve all had the question from our kids from a very young age: “How are babies made?” Making the transition from telling them the fantasy of how they came into the world to the science of how they were actually conceived can be a daunting prospect for parents. Experts say it’s important to find out what they know of the topic first and then we as parents can gauge the level of detail that will inform them without telling them too much, too soon.

The reality is our children are exposed to sexual information at a much younger age now, whether this is through television, social media, YouTube, TikTok or from conversations with peers.

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To date, my experience with Busy Bodies has been a positive one, due to the collaborative approach of the module, inviting parents to discuss each lesson at home with their child, guided by the booklet that is sent home with the students. It’s fair to say my son was a little surprised at what girls have to go through during puberty. Not having any sisters himself, he was genuinely taken aback to learn about what happens to girls and their bodies.

But there was none of the embarrassment that perhaps he might feel in a couple of years’ time while discussing these topics with me, just a curiosity about the whole process. And this only confirms to us as his parents, that as the HSE suggests, breaking the “Big Talk” into a series of “Little Talks” is most definitely the right approach.

Credit must also be given to the teachers around the country who handle what was historically considered a taboo and almost shameful topic with such care and sensitivity. Like anything, when the fear of the unknown is quashed, our pre-teens can enter this new phase of their lives feeling very confident that everything they’re experiencing is totally normal and just another part of growing up.

If you would like more information on the Busy Bodies Adolescent Development resources, you can log onto the HSE website sexualwellbeing.ie. Here you will find a number of videos and booklets for a wide range of ages. There are booklets to support parents to have conversations with their 4- to 7-year-olds about relationships, as well as those suitable for the 8- to 12-year-old age group and, finally, the 13- to 18-year-old category also.

Teenagers may also be interested in a new handbook called Sex Educated, which is a collaboration between author Grace Alice O’Shea and a team of Irish sex educators which is an ensemble of all possible questions that teenagers may want to ask today. This can be purchased on sexualhealthwest.ie

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